I Need Some Advice on THis ONe

Okay, after me and my mom got into it about homosexuality. I managed to completely show her how she contradicted her own morals. (Not accepting gay people, but watch The "L" Word, Queer as Folk, and Noah's Arc etc...) I asked her; would her love change if one of her sons or daughter were to be gay? Lord behold her answer was "YES". I need yah help on this one Love Muffins, because I would like to know if I was wrong for making this statement afterwards:

Me: "Are you serious? A mother is suppose to have UNCONDITIONAL love for their children inspite of. You mean to tell me that after 9 months of carrying a child, providing for a child, and raising a child all goes out the window because he or she gay??"

Mother: "YES IT WOULD"

Me: You want to know what the problem is? The problem is that you want to love people based on conditions. What ever you say goes, and that's how u gain a love for people, when u can boss them around, and they follow under your word. I desire nor want any part of that. A mother is suppose to love their child in spite of, and how dare u try to enforce your beliefs on my younger brother and sister. I honestly can not believe a woman in her 40's has the nerve to stop loving her child because of something in which SHE cannot control. Ahh there's the problem, you can't change someones sexuality so you stop loving them to make them feel guilty, and hope for change. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. I love you because your my mom, but I DO NOT RESPECT your morals, your thoughts, or anything that has to do with your limited understanding.

What are your thoughts Love muffins? Cause I am hurt by this....

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Yolee aka Ms. DeppFAB on June 5, 2008 at 6:05pm: I agree with you 100%! A mother's love should be unconditional when it comes to her children. Especially when it has to do with their sexuality. There is already so much discrimination in this world as is, why add to it! I actually have a very close friend that's gay and his mother doesn't accept him whatsoever. He acts as if it doesn't bother him but I know deep down it does. I just don't understand how a parent could just stop loving their kid because they're gay. It's really sad...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Kendrell on October 10, 2009 at 6:27pm: I know im so terribly late responding to this and I apologize for taking so long, but I appreciate the love and the support. Stay sweet.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by HoneyDip on June 5, 2008 at 6:33pm: Personally I have always thought that we are all individuals and we all as people should respect that. It shouldn't matter what color, religion or sexuality you are. Being a Mother myself I have always felt that I have no right to judge anyone based on there sexuality. I feel deeply that you should decide if you like someone or not based on who they are on the inside & not on there lifestyle. I have raised my son with those morals. I have also sat down with my son who is 16yrs. old and explained to him that no matter what sexuality you are I love you unconditionally. Also, for the 1st time in my 35yrs. I am going to say it today I am bi-sexual(That was a big step for me my fellow love muffins). The only other person I have said that to is my son and he said, "OK"! LOL I asked him, "how do you feel about what I just said" he said, "Am I suppose to feel different your my Mom and I love you no matter what!" LOL Damn thats unconditional love.

I can understand why your hurt, which is the reason I won't tell my Mom my situation because I have heard some of the things she has said about homosexuality. We have had alot of heated discussions about the subject but she won't budge she is just stuck in her ways. Also, with her being 62 with heart problems I decided not to tell her. I love my Mom deeply but I just don't respect her opinions on homosexuality. Life is to short for all this Hatred in this World!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Kendrell on October 10, 2009 at 6:28pm: I thank you for your responce, and i apologize for being a YEAR... behind on responding.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by FABobby on June 5, 2008 at 6:34pm: So i feel you in your justifications, but i believe your mother was only reacting to a common stereotypical belief about gays, so when you posed the question to her i think it one gave her notice that its possible for a child of hers to be gay and also that means alot of scrutiny will come out of her for the feeling and morals she was brought up with. I don't totally believe that she would completely oust you from her life only because you are able to have a civil conversation like this one with her, i merely think her answers were out of fear and that, in so few words, she was telling you that she has not prepared herself for such a situation to arise. I too came from a family where homosexuality is not immediately accepted but i chose to live my life according to me, now i really could care less who accepts me family or not. I belive that alone allows my family to see that i am no different than them in turn making them want to accept me. My advice you in this situation is not to shut out your mother but mold her ignorance of the topic since she watches popular gay programs, she sees a lot of thing that aren't real life so she doesnt interprete them into real life instances since she doen't know the real ways of the this life. Dont worry, if she really has that much of a problem with the life then those programs wouldnt be allow on a T.V. in your household, my mother still can't watch a gay programs, movies, or even a short commercial.

Good Luck; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Kendrell on October 10, 2009 at 6:29pm: Thank you for your responce, and I deeply apologize for responding almost a year later. I will say as an update things have progressed drastically since then and everything is doing well.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by LaNi Mar on June 5, 2008 at 6:42pm: Here is the thing, you can always say something until it approaches u head on. She is saying that & most parents of gay children do. But you put that issue b4 them & they may spazz, may cuss & damn u to hell, but when they are done with riding the wave of emotion they get over it. MOST parents will, now you have those that was never shown real paternal love w/o cause or reason, so they cant get past thier emotions. They are the 1's who never kissed a boo boo, or wiped a tear, etc.. but if u know her heart & that as many times as u have messed up in the past & she still cleaned u up & fed u, then yeah she may feel like that now, but YOU know ur mom by how she has loved you & how you have watched her love others.. dont hold it against her. They have a traditional mind & it takes time to accept new things in your life. Its cool to watch it on tv, cuz its not direct. But if she had to, she would. I believe that.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Kendrell on October 10, 2009 at 6:31pm: My apologies LaNi for responding so late, but i thank you for your your love and your support. I agree that people appreciate new things as long as it does not interact with their own personal lives but things have been so much better since : ); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Estee_Lauder on June 5, 2008 at 6:46pm: WELL ...its good to know your mom and my mother are alike.

I LOVE my mom, but its sad to say that Im not as close to her and I'd like to be because she hurt me with her harsh words and because of that EVERYTIME I look at her I dont see her , I see and think of her harsh words.

My recommendation is talking it over and letting her know how YOU feel, dont hold it in you. Unless you still live at home.... when I was 16 just coming out and living at home, I wanted to just run away. and in a way I thank her because Im still standing and it has made me stronger (yet a little bitter I admit) toward my family.

My mom watches Ellen too. I just feel like saying "y'know shes GAY right?"; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Kendrell on October 10, 2009 at 6:32pm: I apologize for responding so late, but things are so much better, and things have progressed since then : ); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Chele72 on September 24, 2009 at 7:14am: My daughter asked me that one day. We were watching something on tv and the kid who was about 2 years older than my daughter was gay and the parents turned there back on him. I told her she could be gay, straight, have green hair, be in prison or marry an alien it doesn't matter...she is now and will always be my baby and I will love her no matter what.
To me that is what is wrong with the world...not enough love and support.
You were right for saying what you said to your mom. I do believe it was her first reaction and you caught her off guard but still that response in my eyes was wrong and hurtful.
Here's a big hug and kiss for you sweetie..XO...stay strong and hold your head up and be proud of who you are.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Love G on September 24, 2009 at 9:15am: Honey you went all the way in... and just know that you were completely respect in your approach to the whole matter. You didn't use any poor choice of words, I love it!. I love you too honey.. cause seening this took me back to when I came out to my family a long long time ago, it was played out just like this right here. Know that the LGBT community has your back and were here for you. At the end of the day, your mother may not agree with your choices as many mothers in that mind frame may not agree with them. But the love never leaves, they just hide it. Doesn't make it right but don't let it stop you. Werk!; ▶ Reply to This