If you had every reason to believe that someone that you are in a serious relationship with was being secretive and not being completely honest would u check their email or phone? I mean u ask but of course they will deny it... Of course I'm a person that always finds out one way or another if someone is trying to play me. What's done in the dark always comes to light, but I can honestly say that I'm not going to sit around and wait for it slap me in the face. What are your thoughts?

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If ya man is being secretive, then theres only one way to find out. Women like my mom dont says " i will find out one way or another"for nuthin. When people tell you this checkin pockets, wallets, glove compartments, workcases, cellphone messages, socks( i found eveidence in a sock once), that little space behind the car cd changer, under the spare tire in the trunk...is usually what they mean LOL.

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lol!!! u doin 2 much! rotfl

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I feel you on that. I was in a situation where I suspected that my ex was cheating on me. I ask about it. Of course, the famous words" I ain't did nothing" came out of his lying azz mouth. anyways I didn't snoop I just told him if he couldn't be honest with me then It was time ti leave. He knew that i didn't play about lying and I would leave his azz. He was like it happen once and I promise it will never happen again. Well, once was enough for me. I told him I couldn't trust him and I let him go. Hey, i'm not saying that it is easy doing that. Letting someone you love go, but if they want to disrespect you , you have to have enough respect for your self to let them go. I am not saying i'm perfect but as i get older, i can't accept certain things..

love muffins, keep your head up!

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I'm not gonna lie, I wanna snoop most of the time! But usually the info just happens to come out for me. I suspected a man I was seeing of still having a very strong relationship with his ex. Of course he always said no... but he wouldn't talk on the phone with her around me... he wouldn't say her name... I'd always see him texting someone and I KNEW it was her because it certainly wasn't me...
Well, he was using my computer on more than one occasion and left it open to emails to and from one another. I read more "I love you's and I miss you's" than I'd like to even admit!
It takes a lot to rid yourself of someone who may not be good for you. Especially when you love them...

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I get my P.I. on if he's not gonna be honest and though it hurts...it's better to find out now then three or four years into the relationship when so much time is being waisted.

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I agree golda, not only that usually when your gut instinct tells you that something is up nine times out of ten there is, so better safe than sorry!!!

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Trust your insticts. If your intuition is telling you he's keeping secrets then more than likely he is. I hate it when women feel like they have to play private detective in search for a smoking gun. You can have all the clues, but until you actually catch him with someone else then you allow yourself to live in this "is he fucking aroung on me limbo". Which gives him all the power in the relationship. But to address the how far you're willing to go to find the truth, I say the search for the truth usually leads in dead ends. Either you find out he's cheating and that's bad, or you don't find anything, and you're back where you started unhappy because you feel your man is keeping secrets. In both scenarios you've relinquished all your power to your partner. You're just reacting to what he's doing. He's the conductor and you're the passenger waiting for when he drives the trainwreck of a relationship into a ditch. This is what I would do, not suggesting you take my advice, I'm just saying. I'd tell him that I think he's not being truthful and say it's over until he can find the truth. Now you're in control, and then you let him react to you. Either he's been lying and confesses and you choose whether to take him back or he wasn't hiding anything and he going to work like a slave to make you see that he was being truthful and that he wants to stay together. Or he lets you go, and that case he was a shit faced loser and you didn't need that in your life anyway.

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I totally agree with you on this Danielle, I kind of didn't look at it this way I was too busy being the P.I. lol! But seriously at the time I was just so mad about being with him for almost 2 years for him to just be so heartless, I was just thinking of what I could do to get back at him. If I had the chance to go back I definitely would've done things differently.

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Hey danielle, to expand on what you were saying. When women dont leave their men, why is the sentence " because i love him" always the first thing coming out there mouth. I mean i have been in love. and in harmonious relationships as well. But a simple " because i love him" is like a simple "because its in the bible". An answer trying to gloss over the defects...i should have started a new thread, hm HOld on a sec

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I go far. Something about me has to see it for itself. I can't explain it.Of course I'm gonna be hurt by it but I need amo.....LUCKILLY that really never to me , BUT last year my homegirl thought her man was cheating on her and we followed him ALL OVER town to some chicks place ( & of course we called the crew and beat some ass).It was hurt full for her.But the man that cheated on her didn't express any remorse , even after we beat his ass....and the chick he cheated on her with.But he will get his.

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Oh no ma'am. I most definitly will trust my instincts, but at the same time I will find out. If something is bothering me and you are in denial. I am going to find out trust and believe. I am going to call Estee and the girls and I'm gonna put my badge on.

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*APPLAUSE!* LOL! YES! Call the "Cut Clique" we will CUT A MUTHA FUCKA FOR YOU! & Afterward we hittin up church's for that 10 piece special for 5.99......you put in 3 I put in 3!

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