I'm Sticking Around... But Is It Worth It??

Hey fellow love muffins ~ Sooo much to say..
So I met this amazing guy back in June on a late train ride home(how convenient huh?). He's been very nice and genuine since day 1, I started to realize he's everything a person can ask for.. that's what it feels like to me anyway. We got together a couple times, been speaking til this day and we're totally feeling each other. Now we decided after awhile that we wanted to make this work between us, but there's a few things I'm still getting use to. First and foremost, he's a singer, he's graduated from college doing it and he's really doing big things which is super great! He's often very busy rehearsing and dealing with gigs most of the time which is completely fine because he still made time for me... that is until he has to leave to another state.
Sometimes he has gigs going on in other states, like he's recently gone to ATL and NC. That's all fine and dandy but what I have a problem with is communication. He has my Home phone because for awhile I haven't had a cell phone so texting isn't an option. We hardly spoke on the phone if at all when he was out to ATL for about 2-3 weeks. When he came back we had a little talk about that and we agreed to try and keep in touch more often for his next gig over at NC. He has my # and I have his cell and home # where he'd be located.. nothings changed. For the 2-3 weeks he's been at NC, we spoke about once. We don't ever talk cause he's never available when I call and I leave messages for him to call back but no response. I know he's busy often but you can never be too busy to make a quick phone call you know? I can't help it when I miss him and it bothers me when I don't get a simple phone call from him. It makes me wonder if he's as serious about this as he claims he is. To top it off, I was told he'd be coming back yesterday (sept 1st) and I haven't heard from him. I called his cell and turns out its out of service. Idk what to do at this point.. So I come to you fellow love muffins.. what would you do if you were suddenly in this situation?

Tags: around, communication, distance, honesty, issue, long, loyalty, patience, relationship, stick

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Tawana Carlisle on September 2, 2009 at 11:43am: I would find out exactly what's going on with him first and if he can't give you a good reason to stick around, just let it go and let him see that he is losing out on a very good thing.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Estee_Lauder on September 2, 2009 at 3:10pm: 3 weeks? 21 days? That's almost a month!
I don't even go a week without communicating with mine, my schedule can be demanding too but I still get a text or call or something at least once a day.

& if any of yall have a credit card (like Visa) They do offer frequent flyer miles & other perks. The flyer miles can give a HUGE Discount on flights & possibly sometimes give you free flights!

I agree with the first 2 responders...find out what's goin on... because I'm splashing my feet in the industry myself & freaky-sneakiness goes on A-LOT! So if he's not talking , texting, emailing, tweetin, smoke signaling, myspacing,or writting letters to YOU.... then there may be somebody else.

So go head &find out what's going on. if worse comes to worse cut him off like illegal cable.LOL!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Kitty on September 2, 2009 at 3:38pm: thanks for your helpful advice ~ I guess i shoulda mentioned he doesn't deal with anything related to the online world (myspace, etc). The only thing I could possibly think is texting or anything phone-related.

But again thanks for your advice, I'll consider it.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Kitty on September 2, 2009 at 3:45pm: Thanks Tawana, I will surely do that.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Akhatarian on September 2, 2009 at 2:31pm: Hello, I feel the same as Tawana talk to him to see what is going on. Then let him know how you feel about him contacting you more, let him know it is not that he has to stay on the phone but just call to say hello or let you know he won't be able to talk long but just wanted to let you know he is atleast thinking about you. I have had a career that had me traveling and staying pretty busy also but I have always had the time to call if not for just a short "hello I love you and was just thinking about you." If you let him know how you feel about it and atleast he calls or contacts you more than you know that he is making a effort. Don't give up on it until you see that he will not change that. Then if he doesn't change it then you have your answer that it will most likely always be that way. When letting him know how you feel throw out some suggestions like on your way home call before you go to bed or when you are just taking a breather call then. If he does this try not to keep him on the phone longer or get upset if he doesn't talk longer to you. (some people do that not to say you are like that); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Kitty on September 2, 2009 at 3:48pm: I see what you mean ~ I would def be throwing in suggestions although i recall doing it the first time we had the discussion. Your advice is great, thanks so much! In the end, I hope this works out, his character is one of a kind.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Gorgeously Glamorous on September 3, 2009 at 5:18pm: he can make time for you while he's gone if he wants to. my cuz is dating a guy in the industry and he travels ALOT but they still talk. theres no excuse for him not to be able to make a phone call even if you dont talk long, just call and say i was thinking bout you would be fine. i do agree with the suggestions, see if he will create an email acct just to communicate with you, he can email you from his phone so dont let him tell you he is not near a computer! so just see whats going on and if his actions dont show that he is serious then don put your heart into it.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Clara 'Diamond Girl' Atwater on September 3, 2009 at 7:36pm: Umm I'm a communicater and for awhile me and my man wwere doing the long distance thing until we got back to school. But during that break I demanded a call everyday and hell would break lose if I didn't get it. I need a lot of attention or else I tend to stray. Although I was too demanding with it I don't think it's asking a lot. I think you need to let him now you have requirements that need to be met if he tries to fulfill those requirements I say stay, if not then you got some thinking to do about how important it is to you that he calls, and if it is worth it.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by SADIO on September 3, 2009 at 7:43pm: This sounds very much like Halle Berry and David Justice....(remember way back?) If he is busy, you be busy also. Don't focus on him. Simply enjoy his company when you can. If he has a break...goes on vacation, it might include you. Often times when a performer is out of their element and in another state, they take in all that they can...and sometimes get consumed with life happening. So...just be there. Have fun, and don't take it seriously until he does. When he is ready to take it seriously, remember the times when he was busy....and know that it will aways be like that (If he continues to be successful.) In the mean time....save money and plan for a great future with him...so that when it does happen, you will be prepared. Imagine laying on the bed (honeymoon) next to him laughing about how busy he was....then he turns to you and says, "Thanks for understandng, and being there for me!" Don't let him go because he doesn't call you. He's working! Let him work. If he calls good....if not, ok! When he does contact you....and gets with you, MAKE THAT TIME ..........THE BEST!!!! (Never put an artist in a jar,they will die if they are not able to breathe.); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Kitty on September 4, 2009 at 10:53am: Thanks you guys... your advice certainly keeps me going. I will surely share the outcome in this discussion and even privately with whomever leaves me a message for details or something of that sort~; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Aisha Al Midfa on September 4, 2009 at 2:47pm: hey love muffin! ok so.. i was in a similar situation, my ex used to work at those oil thingys to this day i dont know what it is that he does! but he would go away for 2 weeks and come back home for 2 weeks, it was so hard.. cuz he had this whole other life without me and i was just stuck here waiting for him! i moved on.. what i think is going on is that ur guy has this whole new life, gigs, travels, hes busy most of the time, so im guessing he dosent even remember to call, theres no blame, but its just that if he dosent call he wont. If you still think you guys have a chance then why dont you both buy a black berry? free messaging? or webcam! or on the weekends he can come to you or u go to him. but if u really think theres no chance with this guy then move on. there are thousands of them out there who im sure will be amazing and would do anything for you. you are amazing love muffin and you should be treated like a queen! a friend of mine once told me that a guy should kiss the ground u walk on and i believe if he really loves a guy would do that =) but then again i dono if i lsn to my own advice! what you should do right now is keep busy, do stuff that would keep ur mind off him, like a new activity, or a new job. good luck with you and i hope i was of help!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by RoRo From the Ashes on September 5, 2009 at 5:23am: Now..I know the business is hard. You sometimes work for less than what your worth, but you keep on workin anyway. But............well.............i AM sure though, Pretty damn positive to be exact, that you earn enough to keep a phone in service. To that i would ask myself the question. Could he not pay it, or did he just switch numbers?

I think it's pretty obvious just how serious he is taking it, it should be obvious to you , booboo. While i read the line about his comin to hit u up when he is in the state and not doing so when he is on his gig ( which may or may not be the thing he is ON, per say). The echo of a certain Ludacris song echoed in my head, the one about the hoes in different area codes?( YOU are NOT a HOE, and shouldnt be treated like one). this is such a BITCH.BOO.BYE situation.

So even if you don't get full clarity, let it be- let it be- let it be. You shouldnt have to demand that attention, it should be served, nicely chilled like ice tea on a golden tablet during the hottest day of the summer.; ▶ Reply to This