July & August & September Submissions

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Chantelle Glymph on July 8, 2009 at 1:17pm

Dear B. Scott,

I just recently find out that my boyfriend is going to jail for 18months. We "talked" for about a year and some months, began dating in March of 2009, had to take a break due to a situation we had no control over, and began dating again in May. Though we have been through alot, we've always been there for eachother and I think I may be falling in love with him, but I'm not to sure how to tell and I'm not to sure how to explain to him how I feel. I am only seventeen, turning eighteen in March, but he means so much to me. Should I let him go or stand by his side through it all? =/

Lots of Love,
torninbetweenthetwo <3

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Lauren on July 9, 2009 at 3:59am

Dear B. Scott,

I have a problem with my mother. I'm grown but I'm still living with my mother since I am still in college and finishing up. But I'm really fed up with her because it seems she is trying to control my life! She picks a part my wardrobe, and buys me what she feels I should wear. And when I refuse she throws a fit. She continuously criticizes my driving, my cooking, and thinks that proves to her that I'm not ready to move out on my own. She feels she should be in charge of my money and what I do with it. And she even got into the habit of monitoring what I say to my own friends, even when it has nothing to do with her! She constantly has a problem with where I'm going and thinks everything I do is against her. She's very sensitive. But I'm grown, too grown. Now, I tried to talk to her and explain that I am grown, but she throws in my face that I am not grown until I move out of the house! I know I am not in the circumstance to move. I'm working part time and going to school. But I'm tired of this bs from her. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I'm not a child anymore, and I feel I deserve more trust and respect. How should I present this to her? What should I do?

A loving Lovemuffin,
all grown up daughter

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Jazzime Dautrieve on July 17, 2009 at 8:37am

Dear B.Scott,
Ok, I need to warn you that this one is a hum-dinger. One of my cousins, that I'm not very close to, has married my ex-boyfriend. Now, normally I wouldn't be very upset. This ex and I broke up during my freshman year of college about 4 years ago. I would have been devastated but I realized that if he had to work so hard to make me feel terrible about myself, and believe me he did, I must be a pretty great person! Also, this cousin and I don't get along because she's a horrible person. How horrible? She made fun of me when we we kids because my Mom was in an abusive realtionship. I guess she thought it was funny. Now, needless to say I would say these two deserve each other, but there's just one thing: He's DL. I've been able to confirm this through general snooping and some of your videos that tell you the signs. The #1 reason? He's pretending to be super religious and keeps saying how gays are an abomination! He says some of the most vile things sometimes.
Now, from what I've been able to gather no one knows about their marriage. I also don't think anyone else knows about his DL lifestyle. My problem is I know that if I tell her, she'll just say that I'm trying to ruin her marriage because I'm jealous. She's been pretty competative with me my whole life, and I know this was just goning to be a feather in her cap because she got the man I couldn't, or so she thinks. I also think it's pretty obvious to anyone who wants to see it that he's super homo-phobic because he's really trying hard to reconcile himself with the fact that he's gay.
I don't know what to do! I want to tell her because she's still family, and what if he's having unprotected sex? I also feel like this could save her alot of heart ache in the future. Also, what if he's not ready to come out? I don't want to out him!I don't know, please help me!
*:Double Kisses:*
Jazzmine

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by I Excel to Exceed on July 18, 2009 at 9:18am

Dear B. Scott,

I'm having a few issues that I thought maybe you could help me with. I would love to know what kind of advice and insight you can give me to help me grow as a strong black woman in my time of need.
So my issue, I am 21 years old, turning 22 in September a senior in college, Iv'e always had a sexual attraction to women, but only ONE woman really had my attention, but never have I ever acted on them. Because of the way I was raised, I was brought up, that being gay, bi, Trans, etc was wrong. I had never shared my inner thoughts with anyone, nor have I wanted to. Ppl always asked me was I gay or bi, because I am an athlete and a tomboy...I consider myself in the middle, I can be the tomboy I was brought up to be and I can wear my heels also, and give them bitches the "Heave Ho" But recently my best friend of 4 years finally came out to me that she was bi....I was shocked, and upset yet relieved. I was upset because she never told me before, but everyone else around me knew about it, I felt left out the loop. I was shocked because ppl always asked me about her, but I always said no. But deep down me wondered too. I was relieved because now I had someone I can express my feelings to, and get answers to all my questions.
But here is the kicker; the woman that I’ve been longing for was her, my best-friend. Not only did it kick me back on my heels it opened a whole new door for me. I mean this woman is great in every way possible. So that same day we talked and I told her about my thoughts and attractions, to her understanding she thought I was Anti-Gay. That I had problems with ppl who were. That’s not like me at all, bc I feel “to each is own, do what makes you happy.”
Anyway after a few days of us chatting on the subject, I told her how I really felt about her, and that I wanted to be the one to make her happy, although there is 6 ½ year age difference (she’s older then I), I wanted to be the one she come home to and I tend to her. Her response was, “……..” nothing! She didn’t have anything to say, and I knew that I did drop a lot on her shoulders, but I needed to know something. For several days I was flapping in the wind, I would ask her what were her thoughts, and how did she feel but all she could say was that she was shocked and why her?
Finally, I asked her about it and she said she didn’t want to ruin our friendship…but never did she say that she wouldn’t date me or even consider looking my way. After about a month, she opened up to me and said that she didn’t want to hurt me because of how close we are. Reason being she said that she was chasing behind someone who she really likes and their playing with her emotions. I told her that no matter what I will still be there waiting for that day that she will give me the opportunity….
B. Scott what should I do?? I know in my hearts of hearts that she is my soul mate, and not because she was the first person I opened up too, but because I love everything about her, from her size 9 ½ feet to her long silky hair. From the way she tries to hold in her feelings when she is upset, and I have to get her to open up. How warm her heart is to others and how independent she is. She is just like me, not too feminine and not too masculine, the body of a GODDESS. Just Right and it upsets me that she doesn’t understand her worth, and how much I have to offer and it’s not all about material things.
Should I continue to show how much she means to me, or should I leave her alone?

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Chriswell on July 20, 2009 at 6:45pm

Ok B here it is,
I'm a considering a serious career redirection and I would love your advice! I have a Bachelors degree in Photojournalism which I want to use to become a fashion photographer. However, it's been a year since I graduated college and while I have a pretty solid portfolio, my career hasn't exploded like I feel that it should have by now. The shoots that I have been doing, I've been doing for free and I feel like I should be making money by now. My parents wanted me to be more involved in television and broadcasting, which I kind of entertained while I was in school because a part of me wanted to be an entertainment reporter. Kind of something similar to what you're doing. I am skilled at writing and I do have mad people skills. While photography is a passion of mine, I find myself looking back and wondering what if I had pursued broadcasting. A part of me still wants to pursue becoming an entertainment reporter but I don't want to leave my photography behind. What should I do?

Topher

P.S. I would love to photograph you someday if you're interested. :)

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Shay on July 21, 2009 at 8:34pm

Dear B. Scott,

A ex-friend of my is gay. He had a thing for my boyfriend but my boyfriend never had anything for but just as a friend. Well my ex-friend told me he liked him and whatever and as a friend at the time I accepted this and moved on. Well weeks after weeks me and my current boyfriend ending up getting close. I wasn't going to go wit my current bf if i didn't see that it was ok with someone that likes him even though he's a guy. So days went by and he gave me simple clues telling me its ok like "Oh yall look cute together", or "When are u guys going to make me some God Children." So i took that as him giving me his blessing to date his crush. It has been 8 months that me and my bf have been together and just about a month ago the ex-friend has started to find ways to corrpt me and my bf. He's telling people that i said stuff about my boyfriend and vice versa and even getting people, grown people almost 30, into it and they have nothing to do with the situation. Now hes getting people that i used to me really close with people i would claim as my family to turn against me and have them on there side that im basically a hoe or slut cause i apparently "Stole" his chance with someone who wasn't gay. I have tried to be reasonable and do the grown up thing. I have talked 2 him mono y mono and it seemed that everything started to die out. And then after that it flared back up and now hes doing the childish thing like name calling and insulting. Im a person who is really sensitive and it hurts for me to hear stuff like that. My boyfriend has told me just to let them talk and act alike its nothing because he doesn't want me to get really stressed out because he believes that im a verge to a deep depression. But its like an everday thing. I dom't wanna retaliate because im about 2 turn 20 in two weeks and hes no where near 18. What would be the best thing for me to do without gettng violet or being childish

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Bernice Wallace on July 23, 2009 at 7:49am

Dear B, Scott,
First thing I wanna say is, you are an inspiration and I think you are GORGEOUS!
My question is, Ive been with the father of my children for quite sometime, I really do care about him, but im just not in love with him anymore. I feel so bad b/c I know he loves me and for quite sometime, Ive been dating other guys online, now no sex or anything like that but there have been a few prospects and im trying to see whats up, possibly meet, I know, its so wrong, everytime I realize this I break it off with the guy Ive been talking to and like, just to continue to stay miserable. I feel afraid because if i leave the guy im with, I keep thinking about Karma and how it may be a big mistake. And I do not wanna cheat. Im not saying that just talking to guys online is right, but I do have integrity and i wont bed another man until I know if its the right thing to do. I have children and i just find it so difficult to leave someone Ive been with all this time, changing things for them by leaving their father, not cool, their happiness comes first, he's a good man and an excellent father! I just cant do it B! Any advice would be highly appreciated, Thank you so much!! Luv ya B!

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Zac B on July 23, 2009 at 10:27am

Hey B,
I just wanted to start off by saying for amazing. Sorry this is gonna be a little long. I am a male and this past January we had a new kid in school. He is a grade lower to me, but takes majority of the advanced classes with me. I never really make friends with others because I enjoy my little circle of friends. However something kicked up inside of me and just had me fall in love with his gorgeous looks and personality. He is the son of a pastor and that's what I loved more because he has morals and know whats right and wrong. His dad is completely homophobic due to his relationship with god. About a month goes by and I started associating myself with him. I started texting him and hanging around him. Got completely the cold shoulder from him, but his family seemed to start talk to me. For example we had a event at school and I was in the area with my friends taking pictures for the year book and his mom (working the event) came up to me and said are you Zac? I was like Oh my Weave. I said yes and we talked for a bit. We go walk away and I just was like how did she know. Then afterwards I started getting signs that he likes me not just like but LIKE LIKE. In gym he would be all up on it play 3 on 3 basketball. It was little things like that that gave me the impression that he liked me and all. Then towards the end of the year we were super close we talked and everything. I just shrugged off those thoughts and road them off as coincidence. I got the vibe he was gay and I was like yes!! Then he would diss Adam Lambert because of his sexuality. Im usually really good at picking up if someones gay or not. I get that complete vibe he is because the way he talks acts dresses, but I'm not sure because of his homophobic remarks. Then I started getting the idea again he liked me. I later started going to his church and started falling in love with him again and now his family. They started talking to me and made me feel like family. My feelings grew and I think so did his. He would text me we were have amazing conversations and connected on so many levels. Then he goes back to his old house. I get ignored no texts, calls, messages nothing. Then I read some of his comments and hes hoe strolling with some girls on myspace. Then 3 weeks later he comes back everythings back to the way it was and so much more. I know it doesnt seem like he likes me, but I get the energy that he feels a connection too, and you just know theres something that fits. When I'm with him he makes me soo happy and it matches, but he could make me angry or jealous when I'm normally not. Our personalities and moral are the same. So my question is do you think he is gay, bi, or straight and should I Bitch. Boo. Bye. him or do I stick with him and have the chance of having my feelings grow and possibly get rejected. I fell in love, but I've been getting mixed signals from him if he feels the same. He helped me through hard times and I am hoping you can give me somewhat of an answer to lead me in a direction.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Kayla Michelle Harris on July 23, 2009 at 10:28pm

My Dearest B. Scott,

I am simply a girl, in love, and CONFUSED!!!
Me and this WONDERFUL boy have been talking since 2005 and have been through MANY things together! But in 07 we broke up. We have NEVER stopped being very close and we still remain very intimate with eachother. But we are having some problems. His dad and stepmother do not like me at all! His real mother, who lives in Chicago, told me that they just have a lot of issues that they need to work out amongst themselves and to not take it personal but they have torn my relationship apart. His father has belittled him and his step mother has made his relationships hell and has made him not want anymore at all right now. I'm afraid that them treating him like this is going to hinder us in the future. This boy, I know in my heart, is the person that I am going to marry and start a family with one day. I have declared it, his mother has said that she believes that I have his heart and that he has mine and that this is made to last. His ex (who is also a close friend of mine) has said that me and him are meant to be and she could tell by the way that we both speak of and care about eachother. I have tried to get him to come out his shell SO much but it is hard because of his household. Question is, should I just let it go, hoping that he will come back? Remain friends (which I am already doing) or what? What can I do? Please help me B. Scott!!

Your Love Muffin for Life,
K. Michelle! <3

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Matthew Villasenor on July 26, 2009 at 2:00am

HI ITS ME MATT I HOPE YOU GOT MY E-MAIL AND THAT IT WILL HELP YOU

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Morena Louisa on July 29, 2009 at 12:47pm

Hey B.

I have a question for you because you're good at giving people advice and i really need some of that. (Sorry if the message is long :$)

I've been having some issues with this guy i was dating a while ago and i'm just tired of always being the one seeking contact, sending a message to see how he was doing, arguing etc.
And he's not even my boyfriend. Now there were a couple of times where I didn't talk to him because i was upset with him or wanted to stay away from being sad or getting angry and have that problem again.

I talked to him a short 2 weeks ago but then it got quiet again and i didn't hear from him as he told me that I was always the one contacting him and he was wondering why i stopped doing that.
I told him that I was not a dog that was gonna keep on running after him because if he was interested in my friendship, he would AT LEAST send a message coming from HIM asking me how I was doing. But no, he
expected me to chase him and i told him too bad. Now 2 days ago was my birthday and he called after not hearing from him since his last message (which was 2 weeks ago) and bumping into him 2days before my bday. He didn't say hi or anything but i waved at him anyways while greeting the rest of the group and being polite, as he was just staring at me like nothing happened.

I didn't answer the phone and quickly got a message that said "How come you're not picking up your phone on your Bday? " ... What an *ss!.. Sorry but that pissed me off so bad i wanted to respond and tell him "Oh NOW you know where to find my number in your phone but you couldn't find it 2 weeks ago?" But i didn't respond because im pretty much done with people like him that expect everything to come from my side. But i don't want people to think i'm a bitch because that's what i think people see me as, whenever i decide to stop puttin my energy in people and treat them the way they treat me. Cus people are not used to see me upset or acting like i stopped giving a sh*t.

Now i wanted to know if you have any advice for me on how to handle situations like this. I don't want any enemies or arguiments with people but some just don't have a spot to fill in your life and i think he's one of those people in my case.


Much Love,

Morena Louisa

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Brittany T on July 31, 2009 at 8:41pm

B.Scott,
I really hope and pray you answer my question. Just recently I was put out on the streets by my own aunt for a simple reason. I left something in he floor accidently, after she came home in the 12:00am. So I slept out on the streets last night, I am currently with friends now. I just need some direction where to go from here. My mother has been going through I tough time trying to get back on her feet. My father is currently in prison. Takenot i'm only 16yrs. old. I have no one but God. Please help! I seriously need some direction.
Thanks

▶ Reply to This

• First
• Previous
• Next
• Last