July & August & September Submissions

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Permalink Reply by Tamara Veals on August 2, 2009 at 1:12am

Mrs. bernice i am in the same situation i unfortunately did cheat and i felt miserable afterwards never did it again, but i began to talk to men on the internet. In my situation its not that i fell out of love with him just that after three years and now a beautiful 8 mth old love muffin he has not asked me to marry him (he doesn't know that i cheated). I believe that's not how God wants us to live you know shacking up and stuff and I feel terrible with myself for things i can no longer control. Just had to reply to this post because its almost exactly how i feel

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Permalink Reply by Beautiful Indeed on August 10, 2009 at 5:31pm

if it's not too late for submissions...

I'm with a great guy. He's respectful, patient, thoughtful, patient, kind and patient. He's got me by 7yrs and he's pretty much gotten into older person chill mode. I'm social, he's really not. I like to get my diva on and get out, but he's not always up to accompany me which bums me out. When I glam up, I do it for me and for him. He says his mind just isn't always on chasing after me like the typical male and I've all but fussed him out over it. My friends applaud that we've lasted this long, but I understand that nobody is perfect, so work is needed for a relationship to last. Yet after over a year, I'm wondering if our differences could drive a wedge between us. I have faith, cause anybody with his patience is a damn good find. I want this to work, but can being on two social and sexual pages be too much difference for one cohesive union? I love him dearly, he gets me even if he doesn't agree with me. I know I happened across a great love in him, but I'm tired of denying myself the little fun I'd like to have just cause he's acting like he's over the hill already!

Make it work or call it done?
Fab Indeed/Beautiful Trollup

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Permalink Reply by Clara 'Diamond Girl' Atwater on August 14, 2009 at 12:23am

Dear B. Scott,

I've found my soulmate. Even though I'm only 20 years old I know no one will ever complete me the way he has, with him I've literally have become the woman I was supposed to be. Honestly I feel like my relationship shouldn't have any issues at all, but my baggage is holding me in the same place, and I can tell it's driving him crazy. My past relationships I've had every guy has cheated on me, and many have claimed to love me when they didn't. Leaving me hurt and to pick up the pieces, and it seems no matter what he says or his actions prove he loves me I still find a way to make something wrong in our relationships. By no means do we not have issues but we have begun fighting everyday, because I don't want to be seen as foolish again afraid that he'll end up hurting me. I can take what the others did and even forgiven them, but B. Scott if this man hurts me it will hurt me to the core I feel like it could break me. Never have I allowed a man to become so much apart me. After my first loved I vowed never again yet here I am in love with this man deeper than I've ever loved before. Struggling to love myself more than I love him. Trying not lose myself in him. And I don't know what to do I'm messing up the best relationship I ever had with my issues. HELP!!!

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Permalink Reply by shatima on August 18, 2009 at 4:01pm

Hi, B. Scott
I really like this guy and he likes me too. We met june 28th and we started goin out july 28th. so the 28th of this month would make it a month for us. He's my first real boyfriend but, my mom doesn't know she just think he is my friend. She said if he really likes me he would come over and meet my family first and take the time to get to know them. I've talked to him about this and he said he's scared my family won't like him. On the weekends he goes to his cousin house and wants me to come and see him. I live fifteen minutes away from his cousin. I figured why he won't come and see me. I don't like lying to my mother and us sneaking around is childish in three years I'll be twenty one. What the best thing i should do and do you think it was too soon for us to start dating

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Permalink Reply by stonecolddiva on August 20, 2009 at 4:17pm

Dear B Scott,

How can you tell if someone is DL AND into you?

In an effort to maintain brevity, I will condense the story as much as possible. Here's the story...There's a restaurant that I frequent in Harlem and one of the servers has always seemed out of place in that environment. It's a very masculine/high testoterone kinda place - no homo nothing allow. Then there's the server - who I assume is of some type of Latin decent - cause if you know Male Latin NY'rs are ALWAYS clean (hair cut, eyes razor, facial on point) for the most part - he was no exception, in contrast to the other employees - all of the same background - but older, so they are cleaned up, but not the full, full version. Anyhow, I say that to say that he's cleaned up especially well in contrast to his coworkers, but it gives him a very "soft" slightly femme appearance. His mannerism are still masculine, but there's a little bit of sugar in this coffee. Whenever I come to the restaurant, he knows my order immediately, he inquired "where I was hiding", as he hadn't seen me in the restaurant lately. He also informed me of his last day at said restaurant. Now these are all 3 seperate occasions over a 1 yr period. During the last visit where I was informed of his leaving, I had a female friend with me monitor his actions to see if there was any interest. She made her small talk with him and obtained his phone number. On the way home she felt that he did get down and there looked like interest. She also mentioned that she felt he knew the number would be given to me - as she was a total stranger and he gave up the number much to fast for someone that admitted they wouldn't be in town past that night. She also talked about how a "straight" man would not remember another man's order, regardless of the # of times that person frequents the restaurant; nor will a "straight" man tell you that they won't be working at the location any longer - as during that time, he didn't mention this to any other patron there.

My personal feelings were that he was just being the epitomy of good customer service, recognizing his patrons by memorizing what they like and showing interest. Secretly, I would LOOOOOOOOVE for him to be on the sneak and had an interest in me, cause like i said, I've been crushin on him for a while. I end with this....I took the bold step and used the # received by sending him a text offering assistance in landing a new job in a field of his choice. He has responded, but in very short messages, giving no info or no hint of interest. I even offered to buy him a drink once he landed something, still met with a short "ok" response. At this point I am affirmed in my belief that he was just very good customer service and might have been slightly flirty, but just to maintain interest and draw me back into the restaurant more frequently.

Ho hum...either way, he's very cute...but i'd prefer him on my team versus....well....

Anyhow, thank for reading...hopefully you'll respond.

Quadruple Kisses (the spirit kicked up in me, so I had to do it double time)

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Permalink Reply by Rodney K. Nickens Jr. on August 20, 2009 at 9:12pm

Hi B Scott,

My name is Rodney Nickens and I am one of your loyal followers on twitter, I regularly read your blog, and I recently requested to add you on facebook. I love to read your blog posts because I think you are very insightful and offer excellent commentary on issues, pop culture, and current events, especially with regards to LGBT issues.
This is why I am requesting your help. I have been engaged in a heated debate with my Christian cousin, Jolette from Virginia regarding homosexuality and marriage equality. She was raised in a very conservative household with both parents having been ministers. Nevertheless, she has not lived the conventional life as she has had 3
children, 2 of which are by the same father and the other 1 is not. She is also in the process of getting divorced and she still lives at home with her parents although she is close to 30 years old if not older. The conversation has been going back and forth for the past week and was triggered as a result of a link that I posted on my facebook. At this point I am not sure what I am hoping to accomplish with continuing this dialogue, however I would like to continue
discussing this issue with her because I feel like we could possibly come to some common ground and this could be a learner experience for both of us. I would really like for you to read our conversation and let me know what you think I should say/do at this point. In a shameless plug, I have posted the conversation on my blog and you can find it at:

www.rodneynickens.blogspot.com

Thanks for your time and I hope you are able to help me deal with this situation.

Sincerely,

RKNJ
--
Mr. Rodney K. Nickens Jr., B.A.
UCLA Graduate Student '11
M.A. Afro-American Studies
rnickens@ucla.edu
rknj310@gmail.com

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Permalink Reply by shatima on August 26, 2009 at 12:11pm

Hi, B. Scott
I really like this guy and he likes me too. We met june 28th and we started goin out july 28th. so the 28th of this month would make it a month for us. He's my first real boyfriend but, my mom doesn't know she just think he is my friend. She said if he really likes me he would come over and meet my family first and take the time to get to know them. I've talked to him about this and he said he's scared my family won't like him. On the weekends he goes to his cousin house and wants me to come and see him. I live fifteen minutes away from his cousin. I figured why he won't come and see me. I don't like lying to my mother and us sneaking around is childish in three years I'll be twenty one. What the best thing i should do and do you think it was too soon for us to start dating. As well he does not text me like he use to is that a sign he's not into me or might have his feelings hurt. I hope u can answer my question thank you

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Permalink Reply by Jasmine Bazil on September 1, 2009 at 2:20pm

Dear B. Scott,

Ive been dating a guy for 2 years long distance which means i havent seen him for a while, and he loves me very much.Only Ive just met a guy down the street from me and he is really sweet. When im arond him he makes me feel high, I think im falling for him but I dont want to hurt my current man.On the other hand i want something more than my boyfriend can give me except I dont no if Im falling for this guy or am I really desprate for that affection that my boyfriend cant provide they are both "hella sexy" and sweet they treat me like a billion bucks. I just dont kno if this guy is worth hurting the one im with.Oh B Scott what should i do?




Sincerly,A very very devoted love muffin

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Permalink Reply by dominica nyama early on September 27, 2009 at 11:10am

hey b.scott i got a problem....have u every been in a relationship with a guy and everything is good but his damn mama seem 2 have some damn issues....me and my boyfriend been 2gether 4 3yrs now he found hi mother around the same time we started dating....now i've been cool wit her trying 2 be nice you kno...when would go 2 her house so he could visit and after a while she started making little smart ass comments at first i didnt let it bother but after a while i had 2 say sumthing 2 my BF about it....then the damn lady stole 25 dollars 4rm me...and had the nerve 2 tell me im not welcome in her house (mind you she stole 4rm me).....then omg last nite she made up this bullshit ass story ....first off i call for him and ask 2 talk 2 him she tell me no and hang up on me then tell me dont call her phone for him....then turn around and tell him that im the 1 who being direspectful.....i dont disrespect nobody unless im feeling disrespected....she think somebody scared of her and aint going 2 say nuthin cuz im with her son....my own mama dont even talk 2 me like that and i be damn if i let sumbdy else mama talk 2 me anyway......i never had to deal with this b4....i dont know wat 2 do no more...i done cursed her out so many times....please respond bck....

your love muffin
Dominica......

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Permalink Reply by Jamie-Lee Jones on September 29, 2009 at 4:24pm

Hey B. Scott

Ive been in love with 2 men and i love them with all my heart, but i also know i cant havemy cake and eat it too even tho i want to have my cake and eat it up too. They both love me, and ive try to tell them both that i can only be with one yes both of them know about each other and both tell me all the time that i have to choose one or loose one of them buti cant let them go what should i do about this

Love,
Haven the cake, and eattin it too

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